Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine. :P

Notes: This little diddy was brought on by the "To Slap or not to Slap"
thread :] enjoy!

***

It was such a perfect moment, Haldir thought as he leaned in for the
kiss, lids lowering over serene blue eyes, the image of Legolas's wide
cerulean orbs filled with anticipation burned into his brain...

...and then he was looking up at the tree tops, wondering what in the
Valar's name he was doing on the ground and hadn't he just been tasting
the sweet lips of a certain woodland elf?

Speaking of which... "Legolas?" There was only the chirping of the
birds, the sound of the wind and a strange, aggravated muttering that
seemed to be moving away from him...

Haldir sat up in time to see the disappearing figure of the Mirkwood elf
and smiled. Aww, he loved it when they played hard to get.

***later***

He just didn't understand the problem here. At first, subtle hints had
been dropped and Legolas had been as oblivious as an orc. He'd tried a
bit of wooing and a bit of romance and that had been studiously ignored.
Now he'd moved on to direct assault, and frankly, he was wondering if
pursuing this particular elf was all that good for his health.

This was the fourth time he'd ended up on his back -- and not in the
good way.

"Are you blind, or just stupid?"

Haldir mulled over this question. He was neither, he wanted to say, in
his most superior voice, and that only an idiot would ask one such as he
a question like that, but his mother had not raised a fool. No one
aggravated a dwarf with an axe on his lap and a foot on one's chest.

"I am simply...motivated," he finally said, with a slight grunt as he
tried, unsuccessfully to dislodge the booted appendage from his body.

Gimli smiled and leaned down, boot still in place, fingering his axe.
"Well allow me to _un_motivate you."

Haldir blinked. Oh yes. Becoming _very_ unhealthy.

**